Happiness
by Ruka Jaganshi
Summary: In an unfortunate battle, the Urameshi Team loses two members. Isn't this natural, Yuusuke's attitude to his only friend remaining? Is it only a self evident reaction produced by his sorrow? Is it more? Does HE know the answer? Hiei's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Frozen**

Tears are flowing from your chocolate brown eyes; childish womanly, cowardly, weak tears. Disgraceful for one of the strongest creatures of these worlds, for a demon, even for a Spirit Detective. Your words aren't more worthy either.

_Stay here._

_You're the last one. _

_You mustn't go away. _

_You mustn't. _

_Don't die. _

_Like the others did. _

They didn't do it on their own will, Yuusuke. They were killed. They were tortured to death, in front of your eyes.

_They _did it on purpose, so that you can watch it closely. They wanted you to beg them for our lives.

Thinking of them, having them as allies, perhaps even friends for several years, I don't know how they gave in so easily.

Thinking of the torture they gave us through our own weapons, I don't known how I lasted. Even _they_ didn't want me to last.

Nevertheless, you were never pleading. But the increasing of your power was expected by them. They laughed at you.

By the time you pushed the limit, two of us were dead. The close ones I guess.

The bastards followed them soon into death as you escaped from the magical bindings. They suffered much. I am still suffering.

_I can endure pain_, I hear someone's torn voice come out my throat, and I hear my own teeth chatter violently. I don't hear much else, except your unusually stupid whining. Do I look _that_ bad? I guess so. I feel so.

They managed to make you plead after all.

_Don't leave me here. _

_Don't leave me alone. _

_Don't leave me. _

Stupid vulnerable human beings.

* * *

TBC ;) 


	2. Chapter 2

Pain is something you may endure well if you know the way. That is how it works with me. I have developed this ability the first time I realized it, sometime around an early stage of my life: pain is nothing more than a wretched state that cannot be helped. If I can give myself to believe that, it is easy to sink into it and continue living this way. And so you survive tortures no one else does.

Still, your mind often tends to stick to the foolish knowledge that it _could _be better, if you had done something else; if you had _not_ done so. Often, you wonder if it were better now if you had acted otherwise.

Brooding minutes like this drive you simply insane.

Accept pain, let it sink into your body; let it sink so deep it becomes natural, unnoticed, working its deadly way in the background of your brain. After this, you will be invincible.

Pain is lingering in the back of my mind. I am somewhere close to it, too. Pain surrounds me. I sink into it. An unremitting shriek echoes around me, filling everything inside, outside.

A weak sigh whispers: it could stop finally… it's loud. Too loud. I want to sleep, and dream something peaceful, something eternal. I shiver madly. But it is hot like Hellfire at the same time, and the painful chattering won't fade.

To hell with all these. Give me a rest. My well-deserved rest. It would serve me right; after all, I have never thought about _what if_s.

I never ever actually did anything against you or your team. Thought about it, yes; but that is something different. Different is that desirable fiction about sending Kuwabara to Hell with my own fists, and different is it when I restrain myself and settle for pissing him off to no end. Different is when I slip away from your newest mission against a powerful enemy, knowing well I will _make_ myself get involved soon.

Why?

Never wanted to find the answer. It is so embarrassing. Disgusting. A weakness. And besides, it is no use to call someone a friend. You are friends until you have the same aims, same desires – but something like this is never eternal.

So what do _we _have in common that makes me act like someone called a friend would?

Well, I know we have quite much in common with the infamous Youko Kurama. But I also know that this is not the only thing; there are others I will hardly ever find. For example, I will never be able to figure out what the hell is similar in me and Kuwabara. So I will never try. I just drop the subject, like so many times before.

And that makes the echoing pain fade away finally. My mind sleeps away lightly, falling into welcoming nothingness. Into dreams; dreams of anguish and torture.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking is torture.

Well, not at first. At first it is like redemption from a nightmare in which I ran and was shot, ran and was cut in half, ran and burned in Hellfire, drowned in icy water; I was thrown down from the top of the world, pierced through the stomach. But shortly after it gets so comfortably silent, dark and soft, an unconscious scream escapes through my clenched teeth at the sudden waves of pain coming from every possible direction.

My eyes spring open, searching for the goddamned intruder. I find it soon, in Genkai's person. The old hag is currently busy with my right shoulder; I don't really desire to see what she is doing, but I could not look even if I wanted to.

Soft sobbing comes from somewhere below my feet. Her sadness pains my heart.

"Go out." Genkai commands curtly. "Get more of the pain killer plant."

_Yes._

My eyes close while Yukina gets up.

Hell, these are just wounds you get every day, being a demon in Makai. They will heal soon. Will they?

"We shall hope so." Genkai notes, her voice dry, her look never leaving the working hands, her fingers never stopping the burning torture.

"Get out of me." I demand, my voice so distant as if someone else would speak in the other corner of the world. Hers is not much closer.

"You're too strong for the painkillers; I'm trying what I can. Now be a man."

"Why don't _you_ try?" I manage to blurt out, but I assume it just could not be heard outside of my aching brain.

The weight of a thousand sleepless nights rushes at me suddenly, dancing on my tired ribs, numbing my fingers, pulling me deep down again, into dark, into cold, into silent.

Demons attack. There are three of them. Three women.

Mahua, with her leaf-green tiffany dress, emerald green eyes and a shiny, jade-green band on her forehead.

Orenda, with a bone-colored veil on her graceful form; her eyes in the color of silvery ice, her sweatband like a pattern of frost flowers.

Zahia in a very light ocean-blue clothing; her waist slimmed by a turquoise belt, her eyes sparkling, deep and blue like the nightly sky.

The Graias.

"They came from the future." Koenma informed us from behind his enormous desk.

"So they have the ability to travel in time." Kurama nodded.

Kuwabara, that ape, shrieked. "Don't fool me, lad! Like in the movies?"

"Yes." said the toddler with a serious face. "They didn't come from much later, since they know Yuusuke; they want _him_."

"Excellent!" you cheered. "I'll go right away and beat 'em into crap in no time!"

"Hn."

It slipped out my mouth, so I had to explain my sudden urge to speak up. "Are you really that stupid, detective?" I asked. "They must have a reason for coming back to you if you exist in their time, too."

"And they do." Koenma nodded before you could leave the office in search for our new enemies. "I have been informed that they had an affair with you, Yuusuke. They wanted to take their revenge because they didn't like you being the ruler of Makai. You probably won the 3 year tournament, or…"

"I won!" you interrupted, leaning over Koenma's desk, a proud grin creeping up your face. "I _won_? Hell, I can't believe it! Will I really win the next one? Or maybe the one after it? When will it be? Talk, Koenma!"

"That doesn't matter, you moron!" the infant god shouted back. 'Can't you understand? In fact, they invented a plan against you, but they failed because you were too strong. Now they are here to make away with you while you are much, much weaker, so that you won't exist in the future."

Botan gasped this time. "They want to kill him…?"

"Like they are the first ones." you mumble. "So what's the problem? I'll show them that I'm not _that_ weak even here in their past, and they can go to Hell for some more suffering if they want to."

"You forget who they are." said Kurama gravely. "They came from the future. They can and know things we don't. They may as well be much stronger than you or even us altogether. Don't run into their trap."

"Another thing." Koenma added quickly, glancing at me. "They own a jagan too. They stole it probably, because it is not planted into their body. Still, all of them are able to use it, and if they join their powers with it… Don't let it happen. Not you, Hiei. Let someone else deal with it this time."

"But what?" Kuwabara interrupted again. "They are running around clutching a disgusting, slippery thing Hiei has in his forehead?"

Kurama was the one to answer calmly before you could beat the life out of your very best friend. "Yes, Kuwabara-kun, we can as well say so. And as you know, or probably don't, Hiei lost all his original powers when he acquired his jagan, only the energy of this magical eye remaining. Those three, however, have the jagan _and_ their own abilities as well. Am I right, Koenma?"

"You're clever as ever, Kurama." The toddler nodded. "They're far ahead us in powers. I guess they will be classified into a newly developed class that's above 'S' in our time. But they might as well be put into the Special class. I really don't know. I could say it is your task to find it out, but it would be the most foolish act I've done during my 700 years. If I could, I'd keep it in secret especially from you, Yuusuke, but you four are my strongest detectives. I can just ask you to be very very careful."

"We're always careful." you replied with your hands in your pocket, already bored to death, signaling it with annoying the toddler on purpose.

"I pretend I didn't hear this." said Koenma. "Because there is another thing. They have to be killed three times before they disappear from this world finally."

"Three times!" we all exclaimed at once.

"Exactly. The first two times they reawaken, but for the third time they don't. It's that simple. As far as I know, Yuusuke destroyed them once in the future before they came back. Now it's up to us that they get killed twice more."

Meanwhile, I found the situation quite interesting. Future, huh? I couldn't help wondering how much stronger I will be then. Still not strong enough to beat you, that was the only thing I knew. I didn't really think about if I will even be alive at that time.

I did, however, when we met _them_. To be more precise, they came for us while we were walking towards Kuwabara's apartment to sit down and think about something like a strategy against them.

They arrived along with the summer storm, fallig from the sky, their voices shrieking like falcons', and never hesitated attacking.

We had time to defend ourselves, but the nearby buildings received more damage than they should have to. Humans too. The three witches were overjoyed about the people crying and running away. Even more did they enjoy causing damages, sending blasts among them, spilling their blood, all this with an ultimate speed. The lack of hesitation and nothing else made them so fast. They were three, we were four, and we could not catch up with them, though.

Kurama was the quickest on the uptake; he spoke up before you could take a step forward after the first shock.

"Yuusuke, don't you dare move!" he ordered you, never-seen angered fear filling his voice. "They do it to get you attack them! We have to find another way!"

"A great idea!" you shouted back. "Then let's find it while they kill off some more thousands of people!"

"Yuusuke, no!"

Rage replaced my growing despair as I saw you run off, literally into the arms of the enemy, shouting the spell of your Rei Gun.

I kicked myself off the wall, not knowing what will come next, well aware of the painful fact that nothing that comes would be any good for us.

_They_ welcomed the approaching light bomb smiling pleasantly, their eyes reflecting the enormous amount of energy.

I ran as fast as I could, you were moving quickly but so damn slowly; you were so far away.

Kuwabara's shriek cut into the air from somewhere; he called your name.

The Rei Gun hit the Graias; Orenda's white form stepped forward any made a small movement with her right hand. Something glinted there: the jagan. The light blue energy you spent towards them bounced off the invisible shield, and it came back with such a speed that it caught all of us off guard.

You really were extremely slow. Even if your speed surpassed normal humans'.

I jumped, got hold of you, pulled you to the ground with me, and rolled the length of a street with the after-wind of the energy ball rumbling away above us.

I tried my best to separate my body parts form yours while I took a deep breath to strike off your thick head. You overtook me as you jerked up your head suddenly, shot a glare somewhere above me and shouted: _Shot Gun_.

Treacherous blue light-knives scattered as they contacted the same energy: yours.

Not all of them. We both jumped away from the hit.

Silence lingered above the ruins of the city for a few minutes. Kurama and the ox stood several feet away; the fox stopped his stupid companion before he could attack.

We all were waiting tensely and watching what they are up to.

They were standing unmoving, smiling for a while. Hell knows what they were thinking of. Then Orenda raised the jagan between her hands and walked towards you slowly, followed by her companions ceremoniously.

The three of us attacked at the same time, from three different directions. We had no other choice, even if it was obvious that they would not waste their time with us if they really wanted you, The Fool who still stood there grinning and waiting for them.

I knew your foolish pride would bring you down someday. But it brought us down first.

They _did_ waste their time with us, though; because they knew time is in their hands.

Kuwabara flew away but did not have a long way to go; as he reached a broken wall, Zahia's slender form melted out of the bricks and caught his limbs firmly as stone.

Kurama evaded the attack of Mahua but lost his Rose Whip in the process, although he jumped backwards immediately to produce another one.

I was next in the meantime. Orenda turned towards me as I flew at her, but I supposed she was going to use a blast to block me, so I changed my direction suddenly. At the very same moment my katana pierced through her stomach.

I quickly realized that no blood came from her body, and although it could as well be normal, being the futuristic creature she was, I decided to draw back and keep a safe distance.

The sword, however, did not move.

Nor did my fingers.

Similarly to a nightmare, ice covered both of my arms before I realized it. Ice was the figure I attempted to kill.

"Let them go, bitches!" I heard your voice coming closer.

Kurama, our last hope, evaded another attack. He was out of breath, and he was still quick, punctual, graceful. Sometimes when my thoughts stray towards him, I tend to think it is no wonder his original form got the name _Attractive Fox_. I never gave for such shallow things, but Kurama can still pull every attention to himself, including mine.

His failure jolted me out of my momentary brooding. This failure of his was one of the most serious crimes in the universe: he got surprised. His slender fingers brushed through his hair once, twice, and a confused look flashed through his eyes.

A seed found the back of his neck; a short yelp escaped his lips, and he fell to the ground, his eyes wide with shock.

Mahua grinned this time.

She walked up to him, and he did not move to escape. I concluded that he could not do so, probably thanks to that seed he owned a few minutes ago.

The green Graia never looked at your form approaching wildly, maybe she did not even consider the possibility that you would reach her quite soon.

And she was right if she thought so.

Mostly because Orenda rose between you two and held out her magical eyeball towards you.

My body would have moved instinctively, had it not been captured. I did not need a jagan to look into your thoughts and see you don't realize and don't even care what is in front of you, but I still opened my third eye, sending angry waves of energy towards Orenda, signaling: _I_ am her opponent.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a time when I never thought of accompanying anyone on my ways in life. Even if our ways led us on the same route, in the same direction. I usually killed them if there was someone who tried to keep up with my pace. But these times were very rare. No one can keep up my pace, I'm the fastest ever. But I never forget that Makai is a land without limits – unlike the human world where the creatures live for creating their own limitations – and the one faster than me can be born at any moment. I also keep myself prepared for other dangers, for I know I am not invincible. But no one is, so there is a way for anyone to be defeated. To find these ways while fighting, and to get closer and closer to invincibility – these are my goals in life.

So why did it appear _then_ as if all these principles were pure nonsense? Because Orenda was faster than me? Because she did seem to be invincible in every aspect? Nah, one hit cannot prove this of course, but it can be the last ever.

Dying from it, without knowing invincibility… there was a moment when I wished it happened. A moment when piercing lights filled my mind, flickering through my soul, blocking my view as well as air from my lungs.

Something crackled into pieces around me – I identified it with the world first, but a while later a blurred thought visited me through the aching mist, the first one since an eternity: it might as well have been the ice figure that had held my hands captive.

I rose, the sounds slowly coming back to my senses, along with the ground below me becoming clear. My arms were still willing to lift me up – good. Then I could continue fighting.

My look searched for comrades able to fight as well. I found only one; one that was bound to the ground with stripes of lightning; a howling, furious beast pouring his own blood in order to break out of the chains. Tears sticking dark bangs to your face, rage straining your features, muscles stretched to their limits, and you were helpless.

The others were lying far away, unmoving. The enemy was watching me. All three of them.

I had no time to be scared, for it dawned on me quickly. I must have been unconscious for a while, although I did not notice. A part of me was craving it back: the long, painless ignorance.

My mind was aching in protest as memories of the happenings screamed for release. Like flashes of a sweaty nightmare after waking up suddenly to the silent, moonlit darkness. A warm fluid was throbbing downwards on my body rhythmically, its irony taste revealing it belongs to me and not the enemy, who seemed to be still unharmed anyway.

I had to resort to more serious methods.

The ringing in my brain increased as the dark flames burned the remaining pieces of the magical bandages to ashes, warning meanwhile to the fact that my power is lingering below average. Quite a lot below.

Still, I saw no other option, with you and the others like this. And besides, I had been in greater scrape before. Yeah. Sweet kisses, Mukuro. Thanks to you, three S-class beasts mean nothing special to me.

_Cut it out_, you screamed through the flames, a hoarse voice hardly to recognize. The same were the words that left your desperate lips: something about _their_ goal being to anger us, to make us attack them, to use _us_ to defeat ourselves.

I did not really know what it was around me, but it was like a red curtain of boiling blood that wanted to scream the darkest curses at the Graias, and kill them all and make them suffer in Hell forever. So I did not care for you, only the dead corpses were floating in front of my eyes. I don't know why; I have seen corpses before, not only a few even.

But the women smiled at my rage, and they welcomed it with open arms. It was so obvious that they wanted to embrace my dragon darker than ever before.


	5. Chapter 5

_Red._

_Youko's hair was red. His clothes were red. His blood stained everything around him._

_He was not standing anymore; he was struggling to keep his head up, his wrists tied tightly, not letting him fall to the ground and lose contact with his consciousness._

_He did not scream, he didn't have enough strength to do so any more. Someone else was screaming out of him, a broken, hoarse voice at every green flash, at every cut of the Rose Whip he produced and soon lost hours ago. He had never actually lost a fight before, and now he could do nothing but wait for losing this battle finally, for fading away from the pain, no matter how._

_His lips were still muttering shakily between the howls, murmuring about possible strategies for defeating them, ruling out one idea after the other; searching more and more desperately, more and more bewildered; closer to the end with every endlessly stretching minute drenched in dirt, sweat, blood._

My miserable corpse is still aching while I drift into wakefulness, taking in the tranquility of the huge dark nothing around me. I need some time to realize I had been dreaming.

It must be around midnight, for everything smells and sounds like sleep, including the outsized family of the nearby cicadae that are kicking up a hell of a row around the temple.

I feel nothing but dizziness as I get up and set forth in the darkness. The Jagan does not help me much either; I am still too tired and powerless. I have received plenty of serious wounds before, but none of them required as much energy to heal as this one, although I have been recovering for some moths by now, mostly here at Genkai's temple. I am still not allowed to go near trees; not that I wish to do so, at first I was inwardly thrilled with joy from being able to sit up and accept feeding from the old hag or sometimes even Yukina. But only one of them at a time. They know I kill for being _seen_.

I could also kill for another thing. Quite often indeed; namely every time I wake up from my almost-all-day slumber to a pair of russet eyes staring at me. You drop by every now and then, hanging around Genkai's temple for a few days. As if you would have nothing else to do; as if you did not have school, family, home and other human things around you. Genkai and Yukina seem to understand you; of course you don't want to be part of the same world your vanished friends lived in. I, however, don't understand; if I would be in my old state, I would not hesitate to yell at you and even use the Koku Ryuu to chase you back into your original life. Heck, just wait until I get stronger again.

I just hate it. Hate the whole situation I'm in, hate that I have to rely on others, that I cannot go wherever I want, that all these people around me are allies and no enemies are around to fight, that I couldn't fight them even if there _would _be any, and that everyone feels pity for me. As if I weren't a demon; as if I weren't strong, couldn't recover, as if I would need anyone's sympathy.

And naturally, they are right, since I would probably be dead by now if _you_ had not been there, if Genkai had not been there to heal me. If Yukina were not here to let me see she is healthy and happy.

Hell, I have gotten sentimental. But it will go away, I'm sure it will go away as soon as the wounds are healed and my life is back to normal.

Be those drawable paper walls damned by any god above. Also these tatami beds that can be put anywhere. Because these two confuse me even more about my current position, about where I should reach for the exit to the free air.

It is not the right paper wall I pull out of my way first; muffled grumbling makes it known to me, one moment before I stumble over something and fall straight onto my face.

The ground is unusually warm under me, and also soft to a certain extent, which quality must have been the one that protected my nose from breaking or the Jagan on my forehead from getting blind for a few years. Said ground is moving as well; to be more precise, it is desperately trying to kick me down from itself, throwing every kinds of dreadful curses at me, furious eyes flashing close to mine.

Oh.

It's you.

A few minutes pass while I am trying to figure out why you are still struggling violently.

"Get – off – my – throat." you blurt out word by word, and then suddenly everything becomes clear.

Reflexes, I think. The unconscious, desperate wish to survive that every creature carries within, and that immediately blurts out when it is not surpassed on purpose. Self-defense is not a crime, Detective.

No, it is not an excuse, nor an apology. _You_ are stupid enough to sleep right next to the wall of _my_ room.

As I give voice to this conviction of mine, while releasing your neck, you don't respond, just grab my chin and turn my head to the right.

"_Outside_ is into that direction." you announce and lie back with a dull thud.

I cross the room using the shown way and pull the second paper wall of my choice. Cool nightly air awakes my senses, star-patterned dark blue sky stretches above my head, the scent of nature reminds of home. During the first period of my recovery I was barely awake, and those short times fell usually on the day. A long missed atmosphere surrounds me as I hop down from the terrace, my bare feet balancing a bit clumsily on the soft wet grass. The nearby forest welcoming, calling, luring.

"Don't go too far." I hear your drowsy voice mumble from inside. "Grandma'll kill me if she finds out I let you escape, especially if she comes across you unconscious on or under a tree."

I don't obey you, though. I have been separated from my living area for long enough. Nah, I must admit I feel really dizzy, and already exhausted, but I don't care.

I hear your steps rustling on the grass behind me as I proceed further.

Let me go there, I pray silently. Let me visit my home, just for a while; I promise I will feel much better after that.

You don't seem to have the intention of stopping me. Maybe you're afraid of me, maybe you're afraid of Genkai, or… Hell knows. Hell cares.

I feel tired. I'm getting more and more tired; I'm lack of air, I'm dizzy, I cannot balance myself properly, I hurt. Just a bit closer…

Once I reach the edge of the woods, my legs give up immediately and I let my heavy head fall to the ground, breathing in the scent of the ground and the grass, taking in the sight of freedom, the nightly sky covering everything around me.

Your footsteps stop not far away. You seem to be sure I'm okay; or you just don't care.

I'm already falling into a delightful slumber, with a restful contentment soughing inside me. Through this veiled mist I can barely feel the slight movement of the nearby flowers as you lie down somewhere close.

* * *

lilramona: Thankyou for this kind review. I feel flattered! 3 Well, I wonder how you and other people like this chapter. 


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